Do you remember the last time you were able to enjoy something without guilt? Honestly, this is difficult for me. When I wrote my first book “Fit Mama” I was riddled with the guilt that came along with being a 1st time mother trying to maintain a “regular” life…whatever the heck that meant at the time. I was able to figure out ways to take time out for myself, here and there, throughout the day, without feeling like I was stealing time away from my family.
Since that book was written and published, I have had a 2nd child, closed my not-so-thriving business only to return to my trade as nurse, moved clear across the country, worked multiple jobs to make ends meet and keep up with our new lifestyle. Throughout the majority of this time, I second guessed myself every chance I could. My feelings of inadequacy were reinforced by those closest around me. My lack of worthiness and fear that I was missing out gained so much momentum that I was overtaken with a feeling that I hadn’t felt since I was hitting the bottle hard.
I had to re-center. I had to take my intellectual brain to a higher state. I had to Recalibrate. What the fuck that meant, I had no idea. But I had to do something because I was drowning. I did 2 things, I meditated, and I wrote. I did exercise guided by Abraham Hicks, Gabby Bernstein and Dr. Wayne Dyer. The further I dove into mediation, spirituality and the practice of turning my attention onto myself, the better I felt. I was in the zone more than I wasn’t. The guilt I used to feel when I would want to work out, write, read or just be myself began to be replaced with feelings of worthiness and sincere appreciation for the time I had. When I wrote, I felt good, gained a sense of clarity that I had never experienced before.
Here’s the rub. The people around me morphed in and out of my life. As my journey of spirituality began to take a life of its own, some of the people with whom I had share my life with began to diverge off my path. I didn’t understand it at the moment, but looking back on the last several years, I realize now that there is so much truth in the saying “leave the relationship if the relationship does not serve you”. I have begun to understand that as I gain momentum on my path of spirituality and following my true calling as a wellness speaker & author, the relationships that I once thought would stand the test of time, may not after all.
I want to bring this to your attention now because I speak to you as an example of what can happen once you start following your gut and calibrate your energy to your one true source. Trust me when I say this. It is worth it. Finding your true power and aligning yourself with it every day is worth it. Knowing that the better it gets, the better it gets is worth it. Not giving a shit what anyone else says or has to say about you “doing life now” is 100%, completely, worth it.