I can’t tell you when I started to feel like my world was closing in on me, but it happened. Things started to get overwhelming, heavy and unpredictable. I was insecure, felt unworthy and completely isolated. I was not sleeping at night and I was tired all of the time. My body couldn’t keep up with the demands of my daily life and when I looked in the mirror, it was only for a few minutes because I couldn’t handle what I saw to as my truth.
When I realized that it didn’t matter HOW I got there, rather, it only mattered that I no longer wanted to be there was when I started to come out of the shadows that surrounded me. I knew there had to be a better way, a different way, of doing things. After I knew I wanted to move on, I realized I started to replace my shadows with something of the same caliber….jealousy.
See, what I realized was while I was trying to figure out how to get out of my own personal hell, I compared myself to other people, which made my waters even murkier. Soon, I did things based on other peoples success and values. I began to understand that with this comparison, I lost all sense of what made me happy. I couldn’t tell you what I liked to do in my free time or when I had some time to myself. I couldn’t remember the last time I had belly laughed or when I felt good about my body. I was in deep and I was in trouble because life was getting away from me. FAST.
I share this with you, not to rehash the past, but to give you a glimpse into the life of a successful mother of 2, an accomplished business woman and professional in the medical field. Someone who appeared to have her shit together and looked healthy and happy.
I share this with you because I found my key out of my shadows and into my light. I found out to thrive, become truly happy and most of all, I learned what it was like to have fun again. Fun, like childlike, belly-laugh fun. I am here to share my journey with you in hopes that it will help provide a way for you to raise your head and put your face into the sunlight.